I’m passing through this phase

That I’m compelled to face

It’s nothing less than a hell

That I’m trapped in, I’m held

There’s no way out 

No way out!!!

No way out but to pretend!

I can’t…

Where from I get the nerve, the strength?

But I know that I have to pretend

Have to let myself kept chained

Cause there’s no way out…Oh!

Am I blind to the exit door?

Or isn’t there any anymore?

But if I want to survive till the end

I know I just gotta pretend

Although it feels lifeless

I’m bleeding

In this pain that I’m dwelling

There’s nothing but suffering

That kills me from inside

I’m burning from within

With the first sign of smoke

And my unknown side invoked

Since the soul inside woke to reality

There’s no way out that I can think about

So I choose to pretend & wait for this to change…

I was in such a despicable situation (I still am) that eventually led my mind to believe that “good” doesn’t stand a chance. I felt so melancholic! I could then identify myself with Dominique Francon. I was in suffering to an extent that I couldn’t sleep for many days. Today while surfing through the net (such a boon net is!), I came across a picture of the Fallingwater by Frank Lloyd Wright who had inspired Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. Just by the glimpse of such a heroic, earthly architectural work I became euphoric, overflowing with (I felt for the first time, of the true kind) happiness. It was a happy moment. It gave me hope (that I felt for the first time, of the true kind). I felt so relieved. Now I’m at peace. In love with life more than ever! One, who knows or has experienced what “true” suffering is, can treasure & truly love life at it’s best.

Now the suffering is gone as I no longer feel the need even to pretend.