waiting, every second of everyday
staring at the clock
wondering how much longer?
when will i eventually know?
someone please tell me what’s going on
after all it’s my life not yours
I can handle anything
i’m a tough kid i got through the fight before
constant visits not knowing what to expect
i just want to scream
this fear is taking over me
i’m not the carefree person anymore
i constantly second guess my actions
wondering if it’s a healthy choice
i’ve become so paranoid
wishing everyday was just a nightmare
i would eventually wake up and it would be all gone
reminiscing on the past
becoming so jealous of my brothers
their accomplishments, their “normal” life
wishing that i could do the same, be the same
burying my emotions while i’m around the family
pretending to be okay like nothing’s bothering me
oh how they don’t even seem to realize
i’m suffocating inside
these worries, their pressures drowning me
i try to swim, trying to stay afloat
but nothing seems to help
when will they realize they’ve been so wrong?
my life is a nightmare
i can’t control it
everyday i wake up the same reality
attempting to survive each day as it comes along
pretending like everything is okay
just to hopefully fool myself
just to become happy for a split second