Nice poem, although i do not quite understand the poem, it’s too complicated for me, but i think it is about a mother and child who are parting? Anyway, the poem rhymes really well, good job!

this has a beautiful quality to it, I do love that picture, great job!!

If you had not explained that Aunia Kahn’s paintings deal with domestic violence, I would not have been able to tell (at least not from this one you included with the poem.) She is talented, but I merely see flowers, a joker-like face, and a bird. I’ll have to check out the rest of her paintings.

Your poem; however, touched me. I’ve been in a situation where there was domestic violence and this conversation with God is similar to one I once had. It’s a struggle and a fight in which the “horizon” is not in view. This is my favorite part:No child you must remain.

“God I feel nothing and I must die,

No child because you feel nothing it’s not time.

Then take this darkness in which I drown,

It’s up to you child, to free will your bound.”

*** I know the nothingness. Free will is such a blessing and a curse. Well done Brad.

I actually skipped the first paragraph the first time I read it,and dove into the poem it was obvious to me it was about abuse having been through it.

Strange isn’t it how people read differant meanings into poetry?, I read a tortured soul, young and giving up on life, It touched me so very sad,

Thank you all for commenting. The idea behind the poem was to give strength to someone who has come through abuse, I was hoping to get the message across that the future is in their control. In this fictional portrayal of a conversation with God a person in complete turmoil is contemplating suicide and God tries to explain that the future is theirs if they only take it. Yes it will be hard and yes you will suffer but there is so much good in life you need to embrace before being called home. In your absolute deepest despair you feel like giving up and it is ultimately your choice but I would prefer if you just gave life one more chance.

I’d love to critique this for you, but I find nothing to criticize. It’s an excellent poetic dialogue, and I think any reasonably careful read makes it clear that it is between a person in dread pain and God, without need for explanation.

The only nit that I’ll pick is in line 8: it should you’re, rather than your -most likely a typo.

Excelent word-work, here.

thanks Casey I will fix it!

Great Poem and meaning to me is very clear thankyou again

wow! pretty powerful. stands on it’s own without the influence of your love for an artist, though I am now compelled to view her work and art, good read and thought provoking, well written man!

Very nice description, as if you have lived in the darkness yourself.

It is deep, it is consuming and it sings nice little songs to you as you fall asleep. Sometimes, not only do you struggle to escape it but you begin to enjoy its company very much and consider darkness your friend.

For it is always there to embrace you….he he

Great poem Brad. I love how the poem goes back and forth between with a question and answer session between the subject and God. God always provided the proper answer with strength and endurance. I loved the last four lines of the poem:
This hell you built has taken my soul
Your soul is free take control
But the pain and misery i have been subject too
I build you to survive, but the end is up to you.

We all have a choice, but suicide is not hte answer. Very well done friend.