One evening night so wet and dreary,
Bum hurt so bad it made me teary.
Was it the pizza with chilli spice?
Or the Kung Po Chicken with egg fried rice,
Perhaps the kebab did the damage,
That corrosive burn it feels so savage.
Until I stop how can I know?
If it was the burger I got from greasy Joe.
The pain, the agony I can take no more,
This John Wayne strut is such a bore,
So now it’s time to say goodbye,
To both the deep and shallow fry,
No more the nights so wet and dreary,
My cheeks are now so fresh and cheery.