Sensible shoes, the memo said,
and comfortable clothing,
oh, and bring an umbrella-
in case the weather’s imposing.

Pack your children a snack,
and a hefty sack lunch,
for your kids are going on a picnic
and please don’t forget the punch.

Everyone needs a note from home,
because we are going to visit a farm
and we need to note all allergies
that might do your children harm.

Make sure your kids have had their shots,
and all are up to date.
Farm yards are full of rusty nails
in chicken coops and backyard gates.

Make sure your health insurance is all paid up
as kids can be little ruffians.
They like to jump off hay mows and lasso each other
while playing cowboys and Indians.

We teachers cannot be held accountable
for your little heathen’s injuries.
So sign this permission slip right away
including the indemnities.

Guaranteed fun had by all,
as long as all follow the rules.
No punching, no kicking, no biting…
and no stealing the farmer’s tools.

Total cost for this educational barnyard brawl
that the parents must incur?
$100.00 plus expenses.
That should make the teacher purr.

See, your kid thinks he’s the teacher’s favorite
but alas, he lost the bet.
You see, you, the parents,
are really the teacher’s pet.