It was the talk of the yard

Don’t go to Ted’s field

He’s waiting there with a gun.

But as we walked home

We were drawn

by the fruit of the horse chestnut

As the season had just begun.

Ted’s field, the land of milk and honey beckoned.

It’s gate a symbolic Jordan

was quickly crossed by me and Ga

like spies in the promised land.

Ga helped me up the tree

Then left rather hurriedly

When he saw Ted scampering towards

With his twelve bore shot gun by his knee.

If only he had sounded out a warning to me

But it was too late, I was undone.

He ordered me down

His face holding a nasty frown

and lectured me about conker shells

getting stuck in his cow’s throats.

He warned me of the consequences

of being caught there again.

Then kicked me up the arse

and told me to bugger off.

I didn’t bother telling Dad

Escaping with my life was enough.