You see, they made an offer to Ole L.D.

an offer he should not put down.

Not for the money,

because they said he’d drown.

They had no time to negotiate.

They were there to take it all.

At a fair market rate, no doubt

it’s for a great and noble cause.

L.D., though, ain’t one to go down watchin’.

It’s been his family’s for many more than a hundred year.

he won’t be falling for any misdirection

he’s gonna make sure they know the pale side of his ASS.

            Them turkeys are gonna steal this land.

            Them crooked birds, they pulled a loaded hand.

            Bought the farm out from under L.D.,

            only to sink it for lake front property.

Ole L.D. had just about enough.

He exhaled a hint of killin’ on his angered breath.

He threw the pennies on the barrel

mumbling one word, and it was “Death”

He gathered all his fellow brethren

a rowdy and raucous crew.

Hell, wouldn’t any man come untethered

if the land was stolen from you?

They set off marching into the night

torches snaking through trees of twilight

They had no interest in the blood of men,

but they were ready to fight, for this land is their lives.

            Cuz them turkeys done stole this land

            them crooked birds, they sleeved a loaded hand

            snatched the farm out from under L.D.

            only to sink it for lake front property.

On a battleground, moonlit with haze

L.D. and his sickle are ready to begin,

the fire inside keeping him warm and crazed

The enemy snidely smirks, armed only with a pen.

L.D. lowered his head and took off in a charge

his foe unworried, he nonchalantly remarked,

“You may bring tools of farming you’ve fashioned for war,

but as I sign, you all will disembark!”

Slumping to the ground, shattered by defeat,

fluttering around, rustling leaves.

Flying away, in all directions of which

the effort be damned, the effort of Last Ditch.

            Cuz those men flooded this land

            Made fools of who said they can’t

            just had to get a mountain range real cheap

            and then sink it for lake front property.