Inspired by a friend who attempted suicide from depression and by my own expiriences with bullying.

The Blood mixes,
With piss on the floor,
The tears slide down my face,
Fall into the filthy mess.
If the door is opened,
I’m ready to kill,
Then ready to die,
I’m already half way there.
The Strain on my face,
The crimson on the blade,
Why doesn’t the pain go away,
As it used to before?

My life is such a disgrace,
Let the wound,
Dig a little deeper.

The stall is locked,
My blade calls for more,
My forearm is drenched.
There is no space left,
Time to start on the face.
Wait,
Voices,
They come closer.
The voices,
They fade,
Time to resume my ritualistic torture.

My face burns,
Damn, god this hurts.
The tears make it sting yet more,
Finally, a benefit of weakness.

Slice,
Slice,
Let my cheek lose its rosy shine,
When there is no blood left,
I cannot blush again.
My suicide calls,
I will soon be waiting in line,
Time to go to Hell.
It’s almost my turn,
I feel the black-out coming.

The door opens,
A girl,
Beautiful, she walks in humming.
My heart stops,
I wait briefly, then I hear it;
The scream,
She leaves running.

Now I must hurry,
The audience will arrive,
All too soon.

Slice,
Slice,
Slice, blood from my forehead,
It burns my eyes.
Not that the tears didn’t already.

Stepping out of the stall,
I see myself in the mirror.
Not so beautiful now,
I never was.
Why would they never let me be?
I just wanted to feel love,
They took my chance away from me.
Now I’m just a dead girl.

Shouts,
They’re coming.
Maybe I’ll struggle….
No. I’m too weak.
I’ve been struggling all my life,
I don’t want anymore.

The school staff step in,
Into the bathroom,
Into my deathbed.
So now I say my last words,
In front of these poor adults,
Why do they have to witness,
The suicide of a dead girl?

“I only wanted somebody to love me,
I only wanted someone to love.
No one ever did,
No one ever will”

I slit my neck,
I am dead.
The blood flows free,
From my veins.

The school will now know,
Just who I am.

11/24/11

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