I look at my image reflected in the glass.
They are my features, but it is not my face that I see.
In what would be my eyes, I see pools of despair and fears.
Flickers of hope break briefly
Swallowed again by the dark sea
Overwhelmed by the swelling and flow
No ebb in sight, just the surface smoothed over the peak
Concealing the abundance of tears
Drowned and expired in tears.
No air to breathe, no air to blow
Denied a basic component of life I seek
The reliever of this, the refresher of that
Struggle, struggle, struggle and contort
Change what is natural to the unnatural sort
The deep lines around my mouth
The mouth designed to upturn and smile
To brighten a room and the next golden mile
Yet the stress and distress and suppress of having not
Keeps the corners from connecting with that spot
My smooth youthful skin disrupted
By ravines of worry, emotion erupted
Tears follow the path of most resistance
The path created by lack
Lack which hates my purpose and my existence
Lack which suffocates and kills what the truth is.
The structured lines across my face, lips to the floor
Marred complexion, shadows and pits…pout
Resembling the bars on my bunk …lights out!
Stuck in this hell until another’s perception sets me free
Or a prison break of my own will walks me out the door
Take my belt and my shoelaces and go on home
And hope and pray that the lights are on.
Do I even have enough Light to see?
Walking about and everything looks fine
My path is stable and sturdy and sure
Never once considering the concealed muck
Into the pit my body it will suck
The more I swim and squirm and fight
The more I sink and disappear from sight
The path reflects as if no one was even there
Underneath my being refused the inhale
Passageways clogged and then fail
Does anyone even give a f- – -k?