The Dead Baby

I was an EMT at the time.

There were no paramedics then.

There was no 911 either.

We got the call on the emergency line.

It was for a baby that drowned

In a canal behind the home.

We jumped into the rescue truck.

The house was about 3 miles away.

There was another EMT with me

On the truck.

We pulled up in front of the house.

The mother was waiting by the curb

With her dead baby

Limp in her arms.

I can still see the look in her eyes.

Pleading us to give her baby back to her

Alive.

We didn’t wait for the ambulance.

My partner drove

And I did CPR on the baby.

Her color was terrible.

An ashen gray

And purple lips.

I was ventilating her

Too hard.

Her stomach kept filling up

With air.

I had to keep pushing on her stomach

So her lungs could hold air.

We didn’t have any equipment

Like they use nowadays.

We rushed into the Emergency Room

At Doctor’s Hospital.

One of the guys from work was there

Working part-time.

He offered to take over CPR.

But I wouldn’t let him.

They hooked up an EKG

Started an IV

And intubated

The baby.

We left to go back

To the station.

We got a call from the ER

That they had restored

A heartbeat in the baby.

My partner & I hugged each other.

The ER called again

A little while later.

They said that the baby

Had died.

I wanted to go see the mother

And grieve with her.

But we didn’t.

The rest of the shift was like

We were in a dream.

We just went through the motions

Of taking care of the station

And washing the trucks.

I can still see the look in the mother’s eyes

Pleading us to give her baby back to her

Alive.