The death of Santa?

A rounded Caucasian Male in a Red suit was shot dead in Harlesden Last night,

After what Police describe as a “Burglary gone wrong”.

The older male – said to be in his fifties, and of a “Jolly Demeanour”,

was caught transcending from the chimney of local gangster and Crack Dealer Samantha “Tupac-Biggie” Kirwan.

It is believed after a short struggle Kirwan shot the Man – who was also found to be carrying stolen Mince pies and a limited edition Karl Marx action figurine.

In a statement issued earlier today, officers from Operation Trident confirmed,
“This man was not black. He was white. And Old.”

Members’ of Harlesden Gardens’ Neighbourhood Watch issued a Statement yesterday saying they believed the man to be a potential Sexual Offender.

A man of his description had been heard asking local children to “Sit on his lap” days’ before the Incident.

By Samantha Kirwan