I find myself eternally lugging, an immortal livid pain inside.
It is mine forever and unceasingly, for me to continually hide.
Demanding and degrading, always believing itself to be my pride.
It is doing all that it can, to try and consistently make me abide.

Causing the most severe paranoia, in the deepest roots of my form.
Tossing each of my emotions, into a perpetually violent storm.
Forcing me to concede, a world of niceness is not the norm.
Making all occasional occasions, nothing but a hope to perform.

Quite a bit of time ago, I accepted this pain as a part of me.
Which may have been a great mistake, but I could not let it be.
Because though I desire some grandness, and I know that it agrees.
I refuse to willfully resign, to living life as a parasitic flea.

My life needs no labels or definitions, outside of being mine.
Relentlessly fighting my own body, as it tries to cross that line.
Lately though, I have seen through its shallow actions as a sign.
That I am making the proper choices, to ensure that I am fine.

I have been absorbing, and expanding considerable considerations.
No longer driving forward, for any type of temporary elation.
Claiming a stake toward, the path for the fulfilling of relations.
Considering my history in past times, as my concrete preparation.

Each occurring event, helps to mold what I am on this very day.
Actions and thoughts, down to the words that I’m determined to say.
Emotions and clothing, even the face that I choose to display.
It is that everlasting pain, that reminds me to be a certain way.

It hurts deep down from time to time, held in moments of captivity.
Where I shortly forget, all I do to block the worlds negativity.
Falling for fractal seconds, into old habits of ignorant proclivity.
It never fails to amaze, at its tiniest chance of archaic activity.

I find myself in an everlasting battle, day in and day out.
Constantly showing my exaggerated ego, that I have some true clout.
Trying to reassure its uneasy ways, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
That I am truly tuned in, to what my life needs to be about.

This pain helped me realize all the contributions toward my win.
Helping me to start my journey, on this perilous path once again.
I stood tall and took all, of your shady shots against my chin.
There will be fewer and fewer times, where I’m used to my chagrin.