Oliver Wendell Thinning-Hare
Had a son named Harvey and a wife called Clair.
He had a child named Jack and one named Lou
There was one named Charlie and another named Sue.

There was Bunny and Bobby and Zackie and Slim
and Ralph and Randy and Robert and Jim
and Kyle and Kerry and Tammy and Trix…
Their youngest was called One-Hundred-And-Six

So there they were, all one hundred and eight
living in a hole by the garden gate.
They made their living like most of their kind
delivering eggs at Easter time.

They’d hop down trails with eggs in sacks
and come home crying with aching backs
But last year Clair bought Santa’s old sleigh
To deliver the eggs on Easter Day.

“We’ll paint it pink, yellow and pastel blue.
Harvey stop jumping on Patsy Lou.
Robert go find Biddy  Hen.
Order six million eggs – no, six million and ten.

“Sally, go find our egg-dying pot.
Harvey stop tying your ears in a knot.
What’s for dinner? How about raw carrot salad?
No candy right now, Harvey.  I won’t allow it.

“Santa sure didn’t clean out his sleigh.
Look here’s a can of Magic-Fly spray.
Come Connie. Come Cupid. Come Donald and Vinsen.
Come Densel.  Come Dancer. Come Sally and Vixen.

“All of you children come, line up right here,
isn’t it great, you’ll be magic this year.
Here’s a red light I can tape on a nose.
Freddie, go find your twin sister Rose.

“I’ll take a picture of you kids in front of the sleigh.
Don’t Harvey, your face could freeze looking that way.”
So they painted the sleigh with Easter egg dye.
And a few lucky children learned how to fly.

They boiled all the eggs and painted them too.
Harvey used lipstick stoled from his big sister Sue.
Finally, Clair led Ollie to the driver’s seat.
And piled warm, fuzzy children around his big feet.

She put more children in the back
And hung the eggs in a trailing sack.
On his lap she placed Jimmy and Trix,
and then gently handed him One-Hundred-And-Six.

“Have all the children home tomorrow by ten.
I love you and oh yes… I’m pregnant again.
Then she stepped back and smiled, waving goodbye
As her husband and children dashed into the sky.

They delivered their eggs in London and Warsaw.
Then went to Moscow, Paris and Moose Jaw.
From the desert’s harsh heat to the Arctic’s cold frost,
Then retraced their route because Harvey was lost.

They found him in London admiring Big Ben,
And hurried to New York, where they lost him again.
They found him and lost him and found him again.
And delivered their eggs – six million and ten.

Then flew home before the Magic-Fly spray wore out.
From high in the air, Claire heard Harvey shout,
It was wonderful Mama.  I’m locked  in the trunk.
Dad says you’re going next year. He’ll stay home and get drunk.