I came home from work to see a sad sight
My niece and my nephew had started a fight
This event clearly wasn’t to my delight
It added more troubles to my daily plight

“Stop it!” I yelled, startling them both
Have you no respect for my malignant growth?
“I’m sorry, Felix.”  My nephew then said
“I just wish this girl were dead!”

“I wish he was dead too.”  My Niece replied
“I wish he were a victim of infanticide.”
“Children!”  I said.  “What you say is horrendous!”
“This anger you feel is completely stupendous!”

So then to teach them a lesson, I sent them outside
In the chill and the cold, with a gorilla hide
“This gorilla is sacred, it came from the moon!”
My lie could only be believed by baffoons

“The moon?”  They squeeled.  “But that’s in New Zealand!”
“Actually,”  I said.  “It’s in a suburb of Cleveland.”
“Okay Felix,”  They began.  “We’ll try to get along!”
“But remember,” I said.  “To sing the gorilla song.”