How I hate that little itch
How I hate when you’re down there
Causing that intolerable twitch
A nuisance I’m forced to bear

Always in between my thighs
At the most inopportune times
That’s when you seem to arise
Making me write in rhymes

You’re never there while I’m in bed
Where a swift scratch will kill you dead
Instead you’re there at the times I dread
Making The Itch feel so widespread

You appear at the worst occasions
Like during a shareholder’s meeting
Or the podium at graduations
I feel you there harassing, conniving

Why must I endure this pain?
My entire crotch is on fire
I want to end The Itch’s reign
There’s nothing more I desire

How I hate that little itch
How I’m gonna make you bleed
But then here comes the sudden twist
All along you’ve been an STD.