The night is old… ever so dark.

I’m sitting on the ground, flaccid.

The only sound is our laughter,

The rest of the world lies placid.

Nothing is different, all is calm.

We just enjoy one another.

But there is something lingering,

Like a candle you can’t smother.

It’s a certain feeling, a thought.

Something from which we can not part.

An idea that hovers above.

It’s in your eyes and in my heart.

I gladly welcome this feeling,

Even though it should not occur.

You try to suppress this feeling,

Even though you feel it’s so sure.

The talking ceases, laughter stops.

In silence both of us sit there.

The quiet is never awkward,

As long as the quiet we share.

I slowly look up from the ground,

While you’re still staring at your feet.

Then your head glides up, facing me.

After a second, our eyes meet.

The world is totally silent,

But this does not affect our being.

Nothing else matters at this time;

You are the only thing I’m seeing.

Our powerful stares say it all.

We both feel this feeling we feel.

And while this feeling should not be,

This feeling we feel is so real.

We lean in closer, so slightly.

Blinking our eyes, never speaking.

Our stomachs turn and hearts race.

The dark of the night is peaking.

Soon we’re inches from each other.

Our eyes close, waiting in surprise.

And then, our lips finally meet.

Ecstasy; I feel myself rise.

The sheer excitement of this touch,

For which I have waited so long,

Douses out the flames of regret,

Even though I know this is wrong.

But we continue to sit there.

Combining souls and digging deep.

This grasp of your body and tongue,

Is what I will forever keep.

Your sweaty body and soft hair,

Fit the curvature of my hand.

This moment could not be better,

Though I’m now tasting something bland.

Your warm skin is replaced with air.

And now I am lying on my chest.

Your mouth slips away from my lips.

I’m left with the thing I know best.

Alone; I am once more alone.

I awoke from this perfect dream,

Of which I pleaded would be real,

But it came apart at the seam.

My pillow is wet and crumpled,

And my shirt is matted with sweat.

I begin crying in absence of,

A new feeling I’ve never met.

You are loved and I am insane,

That is how it will always be.

I cannot control my feelings,

But you need not ever worry.

You have someone that you can love,

A life with whom you may begin.

And then I have my old pillow,

Covered in my hair and dead skin.

There’ll be a time when you need me,

And I’ll be open to your urge.

Give me something that I may do.

Fall, help, bow; your soul I can purge.

Though in the meantime, while I wait,

This existential zeal I miss,

Will be shoved away like I was,

When I asked for a simple kiss.