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The monster was in the bedroom

Ready for his dinner

When he saw a tremendous figure

And knew he was a winner.

Three hundred forty pounds

Of tender, loving meat,

The monster in the bedroom

Was in for an enormous treat.

The woman was my mother-in-law,

A very commanding figure.

But for this slimmy, green ogre,

It was better when they were bigger.

Just look at the meat on this victim’s bones

The monster smiled with glee.

I’ll be satisfied for a month

And it’s all just for me.

The monster swished his scaly tail.

His teeth were sharp and yellow.

“I’ll make this very quick

Since I’m really a kind, hearted fellow.”

The monster rushed at my mother-in-law.

She was frightened and then passed some gas.

The monster died on the spot.

It was immediate and oh so fast.