The Nuts Inside My Shorts

I was kind of bored and went to smoke

outside on a nice warm day

I lit the fire and drug a puff

then threw the match away

Was sittin’ there in a picnic chair

Neath’ the sun, it felt just right

was wearin’ shades and cutoff jeans

not a single soul in sight

My mind was slow, not much in thought

I shifted in my seat

when just right then I felt a nose

a sniffin’ at my feet

I didn’t flinch cause I could tell

it was my furry friend

A local squirrel in search of food

could smell it in the wind

She pretty much knew where to look

the same old place of course

She scurried up and went straight to

the nuts inside my shorts

She sniffed and nudged and poked around

to try to get at them

but the fabric wasn’t giving way

though she tried and tried again

Her perseverance made me laugh

she wanted at them bad

You could tell by the way she bit and tugged

she was quickly goin’ mad

The poor thing now was quite upset

and she was out of sorts

she bit down hard and tore a hole

and nuts fell out my shorts

The little squirrel was satisfied

With such a happy end

But next time when she wants my nuts

I’ll have them in my hand