Whatever works.

image via wikipedia
An old man stepped into the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra
And asked the pharmacist to cut the pills in half.
The druggist shook his head and told the old man that came in,
“I can do that for you, sir,” then he began to laugh.
“I’ll have to tell you this, old fella, that’s one strange request.
They won’t work well, but your request I won’t refuse.”
Pops said, “I don’t want them to work well. I just want it to
Extend far enough out so I no longer pee upon my shoes.”
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