In my creative writing class, we learned a technique: taking a poem-since it seems to be the easiest to work with-and mix it up, changing the way the poem is percieved.
The Original:
As I lay, the world evolves
Into nothing;
Nothing, which-to me-
Is everything.
Why are you crying?
Is nothingness surrounding you, too?
I understand.
It is the peak of my existence,
Some would say.
At this very moment
I see something.
It is different; It’s bright.
This something has been following me-
Walking in my buried footsteps of the snow.
Why are you not crying, anymore?
I feel it; the numbness now.
Go away, I tell it.
It doesn’t listen.
The new Version:
I understand.
This something has been following me-
Walking in my buried footsteps of the snow.
It is the peak of my existence,
Some would say.
Go away, I tell it.
Why are you crying?
As I lay, the world evolves.
Is nothingness surrounding you, too?
At this very moment
I feel it; the numbness now,
Into nothing.
I see something.
It is different; It’s bright.
No, Nothing, which-to me-
It doesn’t listen.
Why are you not crying, anymore?
By using this, the poem changes completely, one being alone and always alone, stalked by a shadow; the other stuck in between the two, a person to conference with, while also dubious.
Currently there are no comments related to "The Original". You have a special honor to be the first commenter. Thanks!
Welcome to Authspot, the spot for creative writing.
Read some stories and poems, and be sure to subscribe to our feed!
