The Grinch got to feeling randy and restless on a snowy night.

He got to itching and scratching as stir crazy became his plight.

So being not just a grinch, but The Grinch he spoke to himself:

“This night it is mine to plunder and loot and my grinchness sooth.”

Scratching at his eye where his jolly roger patch caused such an itch.

The Grinch remembers a song his mother once sung while he was young.

“Row. Row. Row your boat…Gently down the ditch….Life is but a bitch…

Row. Row. Row your boat…Gently down the ditch..Row. Row. Row your boat..”

The Grinch whistling the tune to himself jumbles aboard his ship surprising his crew.

Distressed that once again the old capatin has the winter itch the crew readies for sail.

Into the night and out of the port into the vast waters the ship sails silently.

The Grinch bellows that the North Pole is the destination and to set course.

Dutifully the crew steered towards the north and followed the stars in silence.

The skipper hands the Grinch a dark mug of some thick cocoa and spices.

Drinking deeply the Grinch found his eyes growing heavy and thumping to the deck.

The crew left the slumbering Grinch asleep where he so gracelessly slept.

Veering into a nearby port the ship sails into a harbor alight with holiday decoration.

Tying off at the dock the skipper jumps ship and runs into the town shouting;

“The itch is upon the Grinch. Prepare. Prepare. The itch is upon the Grinch. Prepare!”

Bustling into motion the town transformed in moments to a winter wonder land.

Elves play and dance before the Grinch as he awakens thinking he is at the North Pole.

Slowly and sluggishly he moves onto the dock and approach the lights and decorations.

Surrounding him he and his crew set about pillaging and looting Old Saint Nick.

All around him the Grinch saw his crew sacking the gifts of the place.

Watching as Santa himself came walking out and with blurred vision he counted twelve.

Beside him the skipper slips a mug into his hand and very thirsty he drinks deeply.

The wind is blowing and the sun is bright overhead as the Grinch awakens aboard the ship.

All aboard the ship is present after present one after another in color and hue and size.

Elated the Grinch claps his hands greedily together and sees he is wearing a Santa suit.

The ever helpful skipper helps him to his feet and looking rather sheepish says:

“Well sir when we sacked the town things got a little crazy with the locals.” 

The Grinch distracted by his prize load says: “We should do this every year skipper.”