You must disbelieve

everything you may have heard

or may think you personally know.

I categorically deny every

categorically derogatory lying story,

as well as all the lying words

you should never have heard!!!

It’s a witch hunt!

It’s a fish story!

So let me be blunt…

Can’t you see

what the haters are trying to do to me;

they’re trying to turn my winning streak

into a perverted freak!

I did not have sexual Relations with that WOMAN.

I did not even do it with the REST.

What does sex have to do with the OATH of OFFICE anyway?

It certainly does not get in the way of the TRICKLE DOWN EFFECT,

because what goes up must come down.

Please Remember Johnny Apple Seed Edwards

Billy Blow Job Clinton

Herman Sex Train Cain

and all the rest that had

extra dessert with their cream,

because they are the cream of the crop.

From hole to hole they hoppedy hop,

with a prowess to undress each hourglass

and stick it near the Lasses tempting snatch!