The Secretary

‘ Laughing my girl!’ – that’s not the way!
You come here to work, or you’ll have no pay.
I’m sure you’re not working, I’d take a bet,
You are surfing around on the Internet.

At meetings you doze with a smile on your face,
You just nod and say yes in the strangest of place.
One letter of yours had a howling mistake,
And a man turned up here with a van load of hake.

When I ask for some typing or want my mail,
You are gazing though windows, or filing a nail.
When requesting  a memo, you’re drinking your tea,
Or gone for a ciggy, or hiding from me.

Concrete, by lorry, came here this morn,
You said to tip it on manager’s lawn.
When he got here later at 5-o-clock,
It had killed all his plants and set like rock!

We’re  so sorry that you are leaving today,
 ’ Happy Retirement Gertrude! – now get on your way!’