I dream of Apple Pie and Sticky Toffee Pud

Of Death by Chocolate – if only I could

Of meringues and trifles – I’d eat them all day

And not care a jot ‘bout the empty cake tray

I’d drool over jelly and strawberry ice-cream

And the sight of iced buns would make me scream

But it’s just not fair – how bloody pathetic

I can’t you see, ‘cos I’m now diabetic!