The Vicar’s daughter Nora could share a tale or two, about Saucy Sam the Sailor, and his parrot Ohnohell. Now, Ohnohell was clever, crafty through, and through. He could swear just like a trooper, (when least expected to)! He liked his sip of whiskey, did dear old ohnohell, and, would do his tricks to to get his fix, our dear sweet Ohnohell!

Sam was sweet on Nora, and, they’d fixed a date for tea. The Vicar, and his Mrs, and, his sweet Miss Chastity. Tea started very tamely, with Sam spinning many yarns, whilst Ohnohell sat sweetly upon little Nora’s arm.

Just when the chaos broke out, no one really knows, but, tis said the squawks of Ohnohell were heard from here to Mars. He dived right at the vicar, knocking off his wig, scattering cups and saucers, and spilling all the milk. The room was hot and spinning, as they all began to run, chasing after Ohnohell, who thought it rather fun!

The Vicar going purple was really in a rage, as Ohnohell swooped through the air, and straight into his cage. Poor Nora went into hiding, leaving Sam alone, and, the Vicar’s wife just sat there, as if she’d turned to stone.

Now the ending to this story, it breaks my heart to say, sweet Nora joined a convent, and Sam returned to sea!