In a life wrought with war

War and death

And vodka shots

And gun shots

Basketball shots

On sun-baked clay

There’s an 85% chance that one of the guys I play with will get blown away

Gone

That’s my life

A series of other people’s goodbyes

As I stand with a typewriter

Opening the world’s eyes

To the horrors of war

I have seen more than I can tell

Experienced more than I can explain

Felt loss, suffering

I know the horrors of war

It is darkness

Darkness as far as the eye can see

But you are my bright spot

I married you on the beach

The only witness the forever pounding ocean

The forever changing sand

The wind that caressed your face

It was almost as if I could be happy

We had a kid

How old would she be now?

Where is she now?

Where are you?

It’s cold, frigid, as if the wind as a personal vendetta

Against me

My breath dances, visible in the sky

My fingers are numb

Too numb to type

My heart is numb,

To numb to feel anything

How long as it been since I left?

How long as it been since I stopped crying myself to sleep?

Are you out there,

Missing me?

Is your life any better than before?

For me, it’s just guns and fighting

For me, it’ll always be just war

But please tell me you’re out there somewhere

Tell me you’re still…alive.