the pain lodged up in my chest

no tingling, no little tale-tell numbness

just a gas bubble really

I looked at the paramedics making all the fuss

on a scale of one to ten?

a five, no more than that for sure

any radiating pain?

only this discomfort nothing more

an hour later, I am awake

and morphine is a very cool friend

the doctor looks at me and my wife

“that was almost your end.”

“they call it the widow maker,

a blockage that’s complete”

my love looked at me with a glare

funny, she used to be so sweet.

“you’re life’s about to change, my friend”

was all that he would say

and little did I know how much

on that October day.

four years go by, my wife is gone

my life is not the same

a pacemaker shoved inside my chest

each action causes pain

I know my days are numbered

and I know that I’m to blame

but I just can’t help but wonder

how I thought it was a game.