A classic battle of good and evil unfolds as the two forces meet.

Lazily she floated in the warm moist air.

What the rest of the world did…she hadn’t a care.

Even with beautiful beaches below,

She had this sudden urge to go.

———————————————————-

She slid north out over the land.

As if guided by some unseen hand.

Drifting by places she had never seen.

Amazed at the land as if in a dream.

———————————————————-

The mountains rose to her and then fell away.

They seemed to speak to her but no words could they say.

The green of the valleys and the songs of strange birds,

Were joys and wonderment and all new to her.

———————————————————–

She picked up the pace as she continued on,

Feeling refreshed and feeling strong.

The air ahead was cooler, she paid it no mind.

She towed warm air with her as if on a line.

———————————————————–

Little did she know he was coming for her.

Angry this bitch would invade on his turf.

Faster and faster out of the west he came,

Riding ice cold air and throwing flames.

———————————————————–

With a head of steam he slipped up on her,

His great booming voice it shook the earth.

Startled at first she stopped in her tracks,

Not even knowing she was under attack.

———————————————————–

He slammed into her with a mighty great push.

He rolled her over but around him she rushed.

Violently they fought across many states,

Leaving much death and destruction all in their wake.

—————————————————————-

They fought each other hard till the bitter end.

Finally realizing that neither could win.

He had to let go he was all given out.

She simply let go and drifted back south.

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Comments (5)
  • kman91995 on May 20, 2011

    Nice flow and ideas!

  • Sushant94 on May 20, 2011

    cooool!

  • Stickinthemud on May 21, 2011

    The idea you had of extrapolating a battle between good and evil from a tornado’s formation was a great one. I just have a couple of ideas/suggestions:

    The language of your first four stanzas is a little pastoral to suddenly throw the word “bitch” in there. Not to mention that the shift in POV in that stanza is a little confusing. Perhaps you should stick to the mood you’ve created, or make it obvious from the beginning that this is not pastoral writing, but irreverent… . Another thing about the language here: it’s too bland. I think maybe that’s because you choose relatively simple images and wanted to keep to the writing flow that you had. However, don’t forget that it is in your re-writes that you find the best material. Try coming up with new ways to say things. You’re creative, right? Show us a more unique language to present this battle in. You are going to rewrite, right?

    Also, the capitalizing of the first words in every line is an out-dated format, mostly because it was due to a lack of printable letters back before the printing press was invented. It’s a convention that’s not necessary and becomes cumbersome when your lines wrap from return to tab in a single thought anyway. Use your mechanics wisely!

    Anyway, other than that, good job. Have a nice day.

  • lowellhenderson on May 21, 2011

    To Stickinthemud…thank you so very much for your comment. Because of you I may work on it further.lh

  • myverse on May 26, 2011

    nice word play.
    Well written.

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