“If only these walls could talk”

This is a phrase that we are all familiar with.

But if these particular walls could talk,

They would not make a sound.

For many years now and for years to come,

These walls stand tall, in silence.

Some greatly fear these walls.

Understandably, they are not located in what

 Most would consider an inviting place.

However, those of us who have stood in the middle of these walls,

And allowed ourselves to be submitted to them,

Know that there are no walls that can compare.

Surrounded by these walls I feel great compassion.

And as these walls slowly start

To close in on me, emptying everything but me.

Somehow I have no fear,

In fact I feel grateful.

You see these walls need me,

Just as much as I need them.

Now it is just me and these four blank white walls.

The walls beckon me, invite me and accept me

Despite all my faults and harmful acts.

They encourage me to unburden myself.

To let go of everything I’ve been holding on to.

Now, is finally the time to let go.

And almost as if my hand had a mind of its own,

I start to write.

I write without even having to think of what to share with these walls.

And as I’m writing the emotions start to flow,

Freely from me directly onto those walls.

What had been four blank white walls just minutes ago,

Are now filled to the point that there is no room left for me to write.

They tell my story in broken sentences, misspelled words

And an incoherent distribution of phrases that only these walls could understand.

But these walls do not care about those kind of things.

These walls are now covered with every emotion that is in my heart.

My wants, needs, desires, hurts, betrayals, broken hearts, fear, anxieties,

worries, confusion, desperation, frustration, hopelessness, helplessness,

Disgraces, lies-to others and from others, indiscretions, failures,

Loss- so much loss, loneliness, misery, goals, aspirations, likes and dislikes,

Happiness and sadness-so much sadness.

I sit for a moment surrounded by everything I don’t want to feel,

Or for that fact, so desperately need to feel.

And as I acknowledge each one, they slowly start to fade.

Fade into the walls upon which they were written.

These walls grow stronger with every emotion it sucks in.

My secrets are now all gone, in the safe keeping of the walls.

Lost in what would appear to be just four blank white walls.

And I, for the first time in my life

Can finally breath. I mean, truly breath.

Breath deep exhaling all of that wasted energy

Which was spent holding all of that negative inside.

And as I breath, the four walls resume their reserved places.

Where one would think a wall should be.

These walls have added yet another person’s story and horrors.

All of which will stay only with them.

These walls are strong, yet they are forgiving.

I now hold an appreciation for something which appears to be so simple.

Something only those who have been calmed by their safety,

Relieved of their nightmares, could understand.

If these walls could talk.

Even if they could, they would stay silent.

Holding tight to all of the lives they have held in their hands.

All of the people these four walls have helped.

If walls could talk,

These walls are masters at keeping secrets.