‘What the Dickens to do with the undeserving poor

and disabled scroungers – let them make soap! Yes,

soap – turn their front room into a little industry

selling soap bars and nit powder.

That way we will overcome THE FEAR and CLIFF EDGE

of the poverty trap faced by the disabled.

These disabled groups have really muddied the water

with their liberal, wishy-washy rhetoric;

£600million DLA going out to people who don’t need it.’

(ATOS assessors: ‘Can you lift a pen, a manilla folder?

You can – great, get down the coalmine, chimney-sweep.

Will your amputated limb re-grow, will your lifelong

disability be miraculously cured? Re-test in 2 years – next!’)…

‘And feckless families, out of work for 10 years but

re-motivated by a 3 weeks’ course -

can become the new family champions

dragging “Shameless” families back to work.

Just so long as they don’t lack moral fibre

and a lack of appetite for some of the jobs available.’