some bright, others not so quite
why should i be provoked by those
who do not parry up with my standards
when i do not
when they cannot
when i write such miserable things
should i blame it upon the miserly?
No i will not for that miser is of my own
in my mind and knows my soul.
It too has a right of being
I shall give it flight when it wants to.
I will beware not of mental anguish
caused by not being able to be inspired
as I write the first words in the face of mental block.
I will write as bad as it may be.
I will be happy that this voice of misery
was in me indeed.  to sprout and shoot!
aim and fire.
being in others and me they transpire,
as we listen to our own voices they
appear in and near
we do not know what they could be saying
but laugh they do well and they will make fun,
pretending sorrow and remorse
and yet doing what they know best to get the higher score.
Though my heart claims a faith
My mind tries to as well
as desperate as i am to find the One
I seem to find no one, none.
Except for the voices appearing as He
and as others in the world appear
as a way to get to know Him.
Who is He?  I wish I knew.
All I can realize is when She seems to show up.
She sends me rampaging around the hills
up and down and all about I crave and dash
and find those treasures littered around but then
I will lose them.  Perhaps others may find sth better
in them than I can!  As disorderly as it appears as I do it
I find an orderliness afterall in some odd way.
I can not do much but at least I am in the way of those who
may need me.  Those I wish to know and not to hurry along from them.