Two more months and Spring will be here.  Let’s celebrate!  Open up some early bird fortune cookies.

1.   Faking love is like faking a quarterback pass.  In the end, it’s so incomplete.

2.   The taller you stand, the shorter you think.

3.   Looking a squirrel straight in the eyes will drive you nuts.

4.   Never fly a kite in the middle of a swamp.

5.   Never mix corn flakes with dandruff flakes.

6.   The difference between a cue ball and a bald head is the size.

7.   Putting a dragon on your team can sure fire up your team’s spirit.

8.   Guitar picking is good.  Nose picking is bad.

9.   It is unwise to hold a wet T-shirt contest in a haunted house.

10. If your taxes are as big as Texas than you have some mighty big problems ahead.

11. Sitting on a cactus is not the same as acupuncture.

12. Knowledge without honor is like cream without broccoli.  Okay, now this is just plain nonsense.e

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13. Thirteen is not an unlucky number unless you are being audited on the 13th of the month.