As I sat alone on a wooden chair at my apartment’s loft

the afternoon breeze caressed my face.

I looked at the skyscrapers, magnificently standing tall;

wondering if there was a day that it just wanted to crumble down.

That is how I feel…

I gazed at the blue sky.

I saw a flock of doves (yes! in the metro) flying gracefully together.

I wonder if they too fight amongst themselves, disrupting their beautiful formation.

Do they expect too much from one another? Are those expectations met?

Having flown together each and every day of the year, would these expectations be too much?

Now, my gaze went to the chair I’m sitting on. It is made of wood.

The color has changed due to weathering ang old age. It has been with me for years.

Yes, it has withstood the test of time;

and it remained strong for me to still enjoy it today.

I wonder if love can also withstand the rigors of life.

I know I have found the one for me

but why is it that my heart is telling me one thing and my mind another?

How do I reconcile the two?

Should I get rid of fear and insecurities in my mind and just trust my heart?

To fully trust that I will always be loved and cherished – passionately. 

Just like the magnificent skyscrapers, should I remain confident in believing that I am important?

That my being should be a sweet peaceful oasis that will nurture a relationship.

Like the wooden chair, I should remain strong amidst fear, doubt, and insecurity.

This I know…only in my mind.

Sadly, I am very very weak.

I can always choose to shut down all my systems (just like a pc)

but I don’t want to; otherwise, we will definitely fall apart.

But then again, would it not make things easier – you go your way and I will go my way?

Human as I am, I am flawed with so many complications.

I want you to understand that I draw my strength in you because you are not just any random person anymore.

As two people become one,

each recognizes the strength of the other as it also makes aware of the other’s weaknesses,

not to ignore it, but to nourish it with love so that it won’t be a weakness anymore.

I once again looked at the skyscrapers against a blue cloudy sky.

It is a perfectly beautiful afternoon…with no one to share it with.

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia