“Please Drong, hold that umbrella still will you. You can’t let the equipment get wet”

“Alright Fong, but it’s freaking cold as hell out here and you still haven’t told me why you needed me out here so urgently. What the hell is that thing anyway – some friggen freaky alien toaster?”

“Yes sorry old friend. I wasn’t expecting this bad weather. Thanks for coming out here at such short notice. I’m nearly ready”

“Yeah it’s ok dude – but what is that toaster for?”

“This is no mere toaster. This is my mighty GCE. It’s going to change the world. Today is the last day of the world as you know it. It’s going to be great”

“Bloody hell man – what the frig is a GCE. Stop assuming I have a damn clue what the hell you are up to”

“God Communications Encoder – that’s what this is. It’s simply revolutionary.”

“Dude – that raises more questions than it answers”. Drong was getting fed up with being wet and cold and was obviously quickly losing his patience. Fong finished tweaking a few potentiometers, closed the lid on the GCE and was able to finally dedicate some focus on his suffering friend.

“Drong, the GCE is a device to communicate with God. In fact, not really to communicate with God, but to command God; command God to do my bidding”

“What the hell. Are you mad? There is no God, and even if there was you cannot talk with him using a toaster tied to the end of this stupid weather balloon.”

“You are wrong Drong. God exists and I know precisely where he is. This flaccid balloon may look meek now, but it will rise high and full and take my command to the very heart of God”

“Don’t use that word you bastard”. Drong looked decidedly annoyed and somewhat embarrassed.

“Sorry Drong – I keep forgetting. You know you shouldn’t feel bad about that. I hear it happens to many men – it was probably stress from your failed…” Drong interrupted forcibly “Just shut up Fong – bloody hell for a genius you can be an idiot. What the hell makes you think this balloon is going to get to God anyway?”

“Ah yes Drong. I guess I should clarify a bit. The God I am speaking about is not the deity worshipped by the various religions of the world in various forms. That of course is farcical. Now you see I have discovered that we are living in a computer simulation. We are nothing but code and I have discovered an access to the program. I have access to the source code. Now you see it takes a lot of computing power to simulate an entire universe. The universe, although only simulated, is vast. There are tricks to it though and the major one is that you only need to simulate the observed universe; only those bits that are being looked at in some way by a sentient being. Now there are very many sentient beings in this simulated universe. Although we are simulated, we are still conscious living entities. Now there need to be many master programs that oversee all the various groups of conscious entities in the simulation. Each domain is allocated a special daemon, which I refer to as Gods. They are for all intents and purposes similar in function to the religious deity. These God daemons generate the observable universe to every observing being within their domain. I have found the location of the God that governs our domain – the physical human earth domain. It is approximately 30km above us here – not a single point, but a zone. I have identified it. This flaccid…um…I mean floppy weather balloon will rise gracefully in the sky and expand 100 times in size. It will deliver my payload. When it does I will send my command code into the program and insert my own subroutine. I will then be able to command God at will”.