know I can see two off you

You might think that’s OK

But believe me it’s not funny

And my legs have gone a stray

Yes it is the alcohol

And yes it’s up to me

But if you’d like to help me home

I’ll gladly pay a fee

I don’t drink much at all

In fact ,that’s why my legs have gone

Please help me home I promise you I will not sing a song

I tried to walk, bumped into things that were not there before

And then some bloody person went and moved the outside door

Now how am I supposed to get to my house on my own

For goodness sake I say stand still and why the moving floor?

Oh dear I don’t feel very well in fact I feel quite sick

OOPS here it comes my vodka get a bucket quick

I promise I will never drink again until I die

But you have heard it many times my tiny little lie

Next weekend will be the same

The drink I know will get the blame

Listen all you drinkers please listen as I ask

Try and go teetotal or you’ll end up on your ass