I know a lonely lady
Who hangs out at the park
She doesn’t mind kids screaming
Or when their puppies bark.
She always feeds the birds
And makes them feel alright
When the birds do see her
They’re everywhere in sight.
I know the lady well
Her name is Amy Jane
She feeds them every day
Unless it looks like rain.
The story changes quickly
To a different fate
Something has to come out
When you eat what’s on your plate.
They sit up on the phone lines
Crapping down below
If you like to watch birds shitting
This is a funny show
When they’re shitting from the phone line
They all shit in a row.
The bird shit is disgusting
Nasty green and white
Make sure that you are looking
For the bird shit that’s in flight.
The bird shit just keeps falling
All over the ground
If you take a look you’ll see
There is bird shit all around.
Protect your eyes from bird shit
By holding up your hand
But make sure you’re not standing
Where the bird shit’s
Going to land.
There is bird shit on the corner
And all around the block
You’re going to step on bird shit
If you want to take a walk.
The bird shit is not scary
Only in one place
The bird shit you are scared of
Is the one that hits your face.