I wish I was a tough guy

The kind you meet in books

Made of rock hard muscle

With rugged hard man looks

A Raymond Chandler hero

Exuding macho charm

A super spy or villain

With a beauty on each arm

.

I’d love to be the kind of guy

That others see and fear

The bane of every coppers life

I’d look at them and sneer

I might fall for a sucker punch

Get beaten up or more, but

I’d meet them face to face

And then, I’d even up the score

.

Wish I could be like Marlowe

And ooze testosterone

Women falling at my feet

For my heart as cold as stone

I would stand up to the bad guys

When I’d won, I’d get the dame

They would say “who was that tough guy”

I’d say “Rupert, that’s my name”