Twas’ the Night Before Christmas

Superhero Style

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the land 
Not a creature was stirring, not even Spiderman 
The webs were spun across buildings with care, 
In hopes that St Nicholas would get entangled there 
 
Spiderman was nestled all snug in his web, 
While visions of Santa’s capture danced in his head. 
Batman started out cause he got a clue  
But Robin stayed home with the swine flu 
 
When out in the sky there arose such a clatter, 
Spiderman sprang from the web to see what was the matter.  
Away to the sky he swung like a flash, 
Knocked over a building in his mad dash

The moon on the breast of the just plowed snow 
Gave the clarity of mud to objects below. 
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, 
Superman flying into eight tiny reindeer 
 
With a little old driver, so lively and quick, 
Dodged a dazed Superman in a nick 
More rapid than eagles his coursers they fell 
And he whistled, and shouted, and cursed like hell!! 
 
“Stop Dasher! Stop, Dancer! Stop, Prancer and Vixen! 
Come, Comet! Come Cupid! Come, Donner and Blitzen! 
Watch out for that porch! Don’t hit that wall! 
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!” 
 
As dry leaves that before the wild Superman fly, 
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. 
So up to the buildings the coursers they flew, 
With the sleigh full of nothing, and Batman too. 
 
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof 
The noise of Superman going poof. 
As I drew in my head, and was turning around, 
The Flash came zipping by with a bound.

He was dressed in a skin suit, from his head to his foot, 
And his clothes were all shining with ashes and soot. 
A bundle of robbers he had flung on his back, 
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack. 
 
His suit-how it glistened! His burglars how very dead! 
His shoes were like roses, his robbers so red! 
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, 
Ready to eat another robber on the go

The stump of a neck he held tight in his teeth, 
From the earlier robber who had stolen a wreath. 
He had a broad face and a nineteen-pack belly, 
That flexed when he laughed, like rock-filled jelly! 
 
Batman was chubby and plump, a right jolly old self, 
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself! 
A shot of his eye and a twist of his head, 
Soon gave me to know I had no robbers to dread. 
 
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, 
And filled all the bombs, then turned with a jerk. 
And laying his finger aside of his nose, 
And giving a nod, into the bat car he rose! 
 
He sprang to his clutch, to his engine gave a whistle, 
And away they all flew like the crown of a thistle. 
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight, 
“Don’t do drugs kids and say no to a good fight!!!!”