This is a poem describing two women and how different they are but even though they are at the opposite ends of the spectrum, they share one link.

My searing eyes stare you down

As they meet your iridescent eyes

That are diamonds polished and perfected.

Your luscious lips speak words of wisdom

That I could never possess.

Your feathery hair is slipping below

Those Aphrodite like shoulders while

Your garment is of the most sinuous silk

Wrapping itself around your lissom structure.

How unfair is it that I am across the room

Staring you down with departed eyes

Which are blocks of coal, all sandy and dry.

My cracked lips utter profanities that

I know she could never endorse.

My straggly hair is striping my

Colossal clothing with repulsiveness

As my frayed wrapping is far from pristine

On my hideousness of a body that I despise.

How unfair is it that I am across the room

Staring at a woman just like I, who is

Way more incandescent than I could be

But is my twin sister?

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Comments (11)
  • Kaavs on Aug 20, 2009

    The poem makes me wonder, did you fight with your mom or with your elder sister?

  • numismatic on Aug 20, 2009

    Yeah its always a good thing to see people trying to make the best out of there talents, most people can not write its a gift. I enjoy reading about Atikin writes for a few reason her eagerness to express herself she is a diamond in the future writings.. Keep up the good work..

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  • strovek on Aug 20, 2009

    Nice poem. I like it.

  • chitragopi on Aug 20, 2009

    good expressions

  • Christine Ramsay on Aug 20, 2009

    You have a real talent for writing.You describe the differences in the two sisters so well. I enjoyed the poem very much.

    Christine

  • Collette Edwards on Aug 20, 2009

    i liked this one two alike yet so different and you say it so well :)

  • Leonardo da Vinci E. on Aug 20, 2009

    You make us consider what we might not have encountered in our own experiences.

  • Lostash on Aug 22, 2009

    Sibling rivalry must be even worse with a jealous twin! I hope this is not from experience!

  • ken bultman on Aug 23, 2009

    You have a magnificent way with words. I hope you never stop writing.

  • Aldrin A Wilding West on Aug 24, 2009

    The venom of thought from one side of the room to the other is palpable in your writing. I do hope this is not from experience. Anyone who experiences this WILL learn as they grow older that the eye of the beholder becomes far less important than their heart.

    Regardless, you’re going to go far. Your own inner strength and beauty shines through you writing.

    By the way, when do you hear about your GCSE’s? Let me know how you get on, won’t you. I’m sure all will be well.

    Buzz

  • CutestPrincess on Sep 1, 2009

    i like the way you played with words…

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