This is a poem about uncertainty in a relationship. I dedicate this to the long nights you lay awake wondering if the next morning the relationship will be over and the pain to begin again. I wrote this on 9-19-2003.
I lay awake in my bed in the early morning hours…
I am supposed to fall asleep, but fail in all attempts…
Fears of mirror games & demons cease only by incessant thought of you.
I lay awake in my bed trying to sleep for a little while…
My mind races a thousand miles per hour in no end of words I want to say to you…
I fear to say or do as I desire for I fear of pushing you away.
I lay awake in my bed tempted to write a deep love letter…
Fear of loosing you or pushing you away run rapid & make me fall still & silent…
My inability to put what I feel into words shown clearly in my hesitations.
I lay awake in my bed baffled by this inability I have never felt…
My whole world spins rapidly, mind racing faster & more insisting…
I still sit puzzled on what to do but yet all I want to say is ‘I love you.’
I lay awake in my bed afraid to tell you I love you…
My reasons are a mystery to me as to why I cannot say this…
All I know is I am afraid I believe it is fear of loosing you.
2012 Unpublished work. © by Rebbecca Abernathy
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