T’was just by chance I saw your face
Your hands so slim and full of grace
Your dainty movement drew me close
I pressed the window with my nose
You looked so lovely, sweet and frail

Your label shouted ‘Half Price Sale’

Yet gladly with my soul I’d pay
To take you home that very day
I made you mine right there and then
And paid a handsome two pounds ten
Once in my room I took your wrap,
I left the box ’cause it was crap,
And set you down upon the bed
While instructions in French I read
You fooled me with your churlish charm
As I tried to set your alarm
I moved your hands about your face,
Left fingerprints upon your case,
But my love was soon deluded
No freaking batteries included!
Broken-hearted, Oh, how I wept
As next morning I overslept.