Up on the house top yesterday

Trying to blow the leaves away.

Hauling my blower in my hand

and leaning against the gusts of wind.

(chorus)

Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn’t go?

Ho, ho, ho, I shouldn’t goooo!

But up on the housetop, sick, sick, sick,

It looks like rain and it’s gonna get slick!

My knees are hurting and my tendons too,

I forgot to don my better shoes.

My back feels like it has caught on fire

And now I’m entangled in the antenna’s wire.

Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn’t go,

No, no, no, nobody I knooooow.

Up on the housetop, click, click, click

After looking down, I got real sick.

Next comes the hating of the nearby trees

Because they filled the gutter with their leaves.

Then comes the blowing and the gouging out

Of the leaves from the gutter and the spout.

Pain, pain, pain, is that a train?

Pain, pain, pain, no it’s starting to raaaaaain.

I usually like rain but today very not

This metal roof is going to get slick as snot.

By this time I’m at the edge of the roof

These shoes are not like a reindeers’ hoof.

I’m crawling toward the house’s crest,

I’m on my knees, there’s a pain in my chest.

Slick, slide, hop, I make it to the

, slide, hop, I can’t stoooop.The more it rains the worse it’ll get

I’m not just getting older, I’m getting real wet.

So I reach the point where I have to go down

The ladder’s below me and so’s the ground.

The ladder’s my preference and then the dirt

If I get this wrong it’s really gonna hurt.

Slide, slide, slide, on my backside

Slide, slide, slide, there goes my priiiiide.

I made it to the ladder with blower in hand

Now all I have to do is carefully descend.

I make it down the ladder and onto another roof

I’m closer to the ground and the going should be smooth.

But true to me, I step on some leaves

I spin like a top and crash to my knees.

Ouch, oh, darn, I’ll never learn.

Ouch, oh, darn, I’ve twisted my arrrrrm.

The good news is I’m fairly safe and sound

As this roof’s edge is level with the ground.

I’m glad I’m a Christian, I need lots of care

And Father’s angels are everywhere.

I’m sorry I require more than my share

But I think my needs exceed your prayers.

Ho, ho, ho, it’s the end of the show.

Ho, ho, ho, I it’s gonna snooow.

I think I’ll stay inside the rest of the year

And just write stuff from my easy chair.