In Allamakee County, there’s a tale that’s told a lot

Of a mighty prideful rooster who was fingered in a plot;

His vanity outdid him when Thanksgiving rolled around

But justice has a way of making sure the truth is found.

Now, Tommy was a turkey highly blessed with brawn and bulk,

Who daily strutted round to thus display his handsome hulk.

But Tommy soon discovered that, with Autumn coming near,

The fate of hulking turkeys actually was one to fear.

‘I need another target,’ Tommy thought as round he looked,

‘someone who will take my place when Autumn bakers cook.’

Chickens lived across the yard, and standing proud and tall

Was a rooster whose proportions should reduce the fear of Fall.

Tommy sidled up to him and looked him up and down.

“You surely are a behemoth,” he snickered with a frown.

“I hope you don’t imagine you can eat much more than me,

For I intend to win November’s contest, don’t you see.”

The behemoth was hooked, and asked the manner of the test.

“Come on, there’s not much to it,” Tommy answered with a jest.

“They’re feeding us to find the biggest, baddest bird in town;

And I intend to win, for I’m the biggest one around.”

From that day on the behemoth resolved win the race,

He ate and grew and strutted round, while Tommy slackened pace.

Whenever Farmer John walked by that silly rooster crowed,

Showing off his girth as Tommy watched for coming snow.

Finally the day was come for Farmer John to choose;

When he picked the silly rooster, Tommy shouted out, “You lose!

Thanksgiving dinner you’ve become, and thanks for playing, dude.

I think I’ll stroll out to the yard and grab a little food.”

Now Farmer John prepared a feast with poultry large and small,

And Tommy and the behemoth both took a mighty fall.

For Tommy’s fate was sealed as well, as he was soon to know;

In Iowa, jive turkeys make the soup when they don’t grow.