Excellent stuff. Are you structuring the poem like Hardy’s or reviving an ancient form? Did you write it or dig it from achives? If you wrote it, you have done a great job at bringing classical form alive. Well done.

I am actually watching a documentry about the Original Olympic games – they had seperate games for the men and the women.

The coaches had to play nude after a woman disguised herself as a man to bring her son into the games. She showed her breasts at the end of the game revealing her sex. After that the coaches and participants had to compete naked so women could not get in on the act.

Great poem . j

Well done.

Inna

Certainly a challenging piece. Great piece.

Very clever and lovely.

Very good, Adam. I like your rhyme scheme.

Beautifully written .

Hi Adam, I like the sound of it. You are so good in playing with words. So beautiful!!

very original…nice

Brilliat! A story told in poem.

A true exhibition of talent. The structure is absolutely wonderful! Thank you for sharing!

I loved this. Thanks for sharing!

Now this is poetry! this is how it should be done, man, with rhymes that look hard but just flow like they were easy. that’s so cool. i’ve gotta try this kind of poem. thanks for everything man.

Beautiful work*

Blessings.

Sincerely,

-Liane Schmidt.

If I am getting this right, this is something about glory and pride being laid low because of love.. until love came, splendor reigned but laid low upon it`s arrival and even if it did not worked out, the previous glory cannot be retrieved as it was left in ruins like the temple.

Hi, rutherfranc. Thanks for reading! I do appreciate the comments from everyone.

However, rutherfranc: I think you were looking for a deeper meaning when there wasn’t one to be had, or at least not one of that nature. Love was not the problem. Love never is. Love in itself is sufficient and perfect. It is flawed people who cause problems for each other and themselves. When Adonis came everything was good and healthy at first, but after he gained Venus’ love, he took her for granted, broke her heart, and left her self-will in shards. If she wanted to she could have moved past all that, but she chose not to. Instead she allowed her grief to rule her, and the end-result is what you see. The homeliness and lack of cleanliness is the direct result of her self-deprecation. So, this is not about love, or glory, or splendour, it’s about how even the goddess of love can wallow in self-pity to the point that ages later her entire life is still affected by her melancholy… So, thanks for trying to understand the message of the poem, that is appreciated, but please don’t blame love for the actions of flawed people.

…Or gods, evidently. This is so artistic, it made me sad. Wherever cunning and self-absorption meet naivete we will find this sort of thing. Well done, Adam. I look forward to rading more.