I’m tired of feeling stupid… everyday that I wake up. 
I’m tired of always wanting what I know I shouldnt have. 
Its like a ‘hit’ to make me sane, 
A ‘hit’ to make it through the day, 
Jus a single ’hit’ to be able to go to sleep again.

Its never been this way before you know? It used to be soooo easy. 
What is so different now?
I mean i’m happy regardless but what is that I need that I find in what I want?

Its to the point where I know I deserve better… more than this. 
Why can’t I see you just walk away?
Its just so hard….

But I KNOW i deserve a chance to live happy again… 
Smile without reason and breathe without hesitation.
I can’t let myself get brought down or changed by someone else.
I can’t just fall to the mercy of a smile and forget it all with a kiss.

Theres no doubt that I loved you… 
I’m so withered inside that I think its all just spoiled.

Who am I to trust when I really dont wanna hear from anybody else?
In the end everyone gets that they deserve right? 
You fuck with fire you will get torched

I promise myself to be alot stronger and to just accept the reality
I promise to never put so much out there till I get met half way
I promise to smile no matter how I’m feeling
I promise to push through everything and make my life sooo much different 4yrs from now

‘ In life you have two choices… hold on to what you want, or take what you need’

- Nathalyvas