Walkin’

Doin’ lots of it

How far to go in this sun?

Eventually I’ll get some relief

I may drop over dead.

Librarian told me

a couple of bookstores in the area

head over to the main highway

one is near Home Depot

another in the opposite direction.

Mid ninety-degree heat

maybe hotter

maybe even hotter than that

mid nineties

And I’m walkin’ – that’s just wonderful!

Walked a mile

after parkin’ the truck

went into the bookstore

and some guy in a black shirt

tryin’ to sell me books.

So I tried to sell him books

not that I really wanted to do business

with him anyway

so I traded a book

for some Einstein.

Einstein is a winner with me

I really enjoy reading him

some of his stuff is really far out

the math is tight

he’s one of the greatest minds in history.

So I opened the book

and much to my surprise

I read that Einstein “died a failure”

which I disagree with

And I looked at the book thinking, can’t exchange it.

The trials of a redneck go on and on

walking back to the truck

thinkin’ about $3.50-a-gallon gas

wonderin’ whether I should try and walk

it’ll probably be OK if I don’t go too fast.

Hey, that one actually rhymed

I’d better change

or there won’t be a redneck genre

not for long anyway

and don’t get your hopes up for another rhyme.

After all, what rhymes with ‘redneck’

and why worry about it

why get philosophical at all

in this heat nobody can think anyway

is hell any hotter? Ask the devil.

So off I plodded

another seven miles

down the main road

off to sell books

thinkin’, what would Elvis do in a situation like this?

Stopped at Wal-Mart

took a bath in the sink

filled up on cold water

lady who worked there

looked at me like I was crazy.

So I said, Don’t worry about it

I’ll be back for booze later

I don’t really like the place

too many cameras, and people can’t make a dime

we’re pathetic.

And on I walked

and walked and walked

a bag full of books on my back

I felt like a pack mule

but I looked up and thought, it won’t be so hard to make a livin’ in heaven.

I started noticin’ cans

along the road

thought, maybe I’ll pick ‘em up

on the way back

hopefully I’ll sell these books, otherwise I may drop dead.

I noticed a tree farm

on a distant mountain

that’s a good idea, I thought

but these days the radical eco-religious

have a problem with it and call it ‘geo-engineering.’

I thought

if I ever make it to this bookstore

it’ll be a miracle

by the time I get there

it’ll probably be closed.

So I got there

tried to sell

they said no

and it was hotter

than hell when I started walking back.

Readers will excuse me

that one almost rhymed

you think that was bad?

well at least you weren’t

walkin’ with me on the Bataan Death March.

I started pickin’ up tin cans

I had no sweat left

walked into a restaurant

and my smell repelled

the black shirts running the place.

Back to the Wal-Mart

took another bath

got some cheap booze

had a bit of a laugh

‘cause someone had called the Red Cross Truck.

Evening brought a breeze

and made the fifty pounds on my back feel lighter

I got back to my truck

and unfortunately nobody had stolen it

at least I won’t have to walk twenty miles tomorrow.