Was it my fault

When I was only four years old,
My daddy went away.
He swore he’d always love me,
But he said he couldn’t stay.
Days turned into weeks
And weeks turned into years.
I never saw my father,
He never saw my tears.
He never read me bedtime stories
Or tucked me in at night.
He never showed up for my birthdays,
But I always hoped he might.
He missed my scary first day at nursery
And all of my school plays.
He doesn’t know how smart I am,
My report cards full of A’s.
Sometimes I want to call him
To say Hey Dad I’m still alive!
I’ll be 15 years old soon,
Will you teach me how to drive?
It’s almost time for college,
The years go by so fast.
I’m looking forward to my future,
But I’m still trapped within my past.
I guess I’ll never understand,
Did I do something bad?
My parents got divorced,
But why did I lose my dad?