OK, call me a jerk.  But the new We Are The World sucks.  Yeah, I get it.  It raises money for the people in Haiti, America’s latest rescue project.  Lots of it.  But this whole thing is just a farce.  We all buy the thing, and smugly blast it in our car stereos so that everybody knows we f*ckin saved Haiti.  Never mind that the song sucks, right?  Musically, it’s a cheap rip off of what was a unique blending of circumstances that produced a monster. 

     They do sell it well, though.  You’ve got the touching clip with Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson together.  Barbara Striesand and Tony Bennett thrown in to reel in the old people and give it credibility.  A parade of current pop stars who no one will give a sh*t about in 5 years.  Live action video of Haitian kids who, from the look of it, weren’t doing all that well before the earthquakes. (Were any of these folks singing about Haiti 6 months ago?)

     And the video itself.  Have you watched this thing?  In fact, here.  I’ll put it up for you.

     Watch from the 4:15 mark.  Why is no one sad?  What I see is a room full of pompous pretty people.  Randy Jackson is having a good old time at 4:23.  I don’t even know who the hell the chick is at 4:25 (blonde in the middle) but she sure seems pleased with herself.  And the lady in front of her is wondering how long this b*llshit is gonna take. At 4:45 we’ve got Lil Wayne… did he furlough from prison to do this?  At 5:31 we find Jeff Bridges.  Can someone please tell me what the f*ck Jeff Bridges is doing there?  I know, he was at the first one.  Did he sneak on the set or something?

     The whole thing is full of sh*t like this.  Can we please see this crap for what it is?  They could have just given some money.  Instead they force fed us the inevitable processed pop monster.  And if you’re one of the idiots right now whining “but it goes to chaaaarity.” then turn off the computer and go stand in the damn corner.  You’re an idiot.  The record company and the 732 people who sang on the stupid thing will make an extra penny or two.  I promise. 

     This is nothing more than a stupid marketing tool we’re going to use to pat ourselves and our buddies on the back.  It’s another example of us turning this tragedy into another reason to show everyone how f*cking great we are.  Hundreds of thousands of people died.  You will meet personally several thousand people in a normal life.  That’s everyone you will ever know, a hundred times over.  Who died.  You’re not special because you helped.  It’s what the hell we’re supposed to do.  So to me, a song like this is just the commercialization of tragedy, and a piece of sh*t.

     And to those who will inevitably throw this back in my face, you’re right.  I’m a complete hypocrite, and just as guilty of it as anyone else.  Bite me.