Tossing and turning night after night
I dream of that far distant day,
When with confidence back
And my waistbands all slack,
I can throw my size eighteens away.
How did I become such a pitiful lump?
Mr. Blobby has nothing on me.
As my dress size grew bigger
With my well endowed figure,
My fat could no longer roam free
I stuffed myself into girdles so tight,
But the effort soon proved in vain,
Because as everyone must know
A huge bulge will grow,
Both above and below such restraint.
Something had to be done without a doubt.
Off to weight reduction classes I did trot.
As I stood on the scale
The full truth was unveiled
As higher and higher my weight shot.
Could this be me, that eight stone gymnast,
Who used to wear a loose size ten.
Would I ever succeed?
Say goodbye to my greed
On a lose weight quick, step by step plan.
The diet was not hard. I could eat quite a lot,
And soon the pounds disappeared.
Week by week I grew slimmer.
Memories of my fat grew much dimmer,
As my old silhouette reappeared.
Now ten years later the rot’s truly set in.
There’s nothing I can do about my figure.
I can eat like a mouse,
But I’m the size of a house
I just hope I won’t get any bigger.