but to be honest with you

I hadn’t thought of that ploy

to get out of working it

and the break to enjoy…

There are a lot of people who helped over this period of time, nine  months in all, from providing care and treatment from the staff in the  Hammersmith both in the NHS and the private suite to Wycombe cardiac out patients, GP and district nurses and  cardiac nurses too.

There are also the cardiac  rehab course staff who  put us through it on Thursdays after lunch at  Handy Cross sports centre.

Then there are the staff I work with too sister  Gill and all the ward staff along with  Miriam.

There have been changes in staff so I hope I will know the staff that are left.

 Most of all the one who  has had the most to put up with  from day one and who  has supplied the most during this time and for who it is ongoing, she is the most important part of the team  ANN my wife.

I cant say that it helped
as since the time I finish
I’ve  not been feeling well

I went to see my doctor
who, said “asthma you do have
just try these  two inhalers
and it should not be too bad.”

At times the breathing’s pretty bad
just ask my friends at work
so I went and had a chest x-ray
but that showed all was clear

So now we need the think again
of what could be going wrong
for there was nothing showing up
around my heart or lungs,

Back to the doctor I did go
to see if he could help
with the breathing problems
and the pains as well

So he gave me G.T.N.
in the form of a spray
“try this” he said and then told me
“come back another day”

But thing did not get better
but slowly getting worse
so I had an ECG done
by the girl at work

Well now we are getting some where
for the ECG it showed
Ischeamic changes to the heart
but they could be old

S -T depression it did show
which isn’t really good,
so “ go and see you doctor
as quickly as you could”

an appointment with the doctor
I got that very day
when I got to see him
I took the trace with me

I thought he might be interested
in what was on the ECG
but he wasn’t happy
(for that was plain to see)

at the remark from the girl at work
for me to the surgery crash
the trace was thrown right back at me
as “ischemia we knew about”

well maybe him, NOT ME
I have hiatus hernia and as you know
the symptoms can be similar
so I just let them go

An appointment was made for me to go
to Wycombe town one day
to see the cardiologist
and see what he would say

more tests, he  had requested some
before I saw him in his  room
an ECG and x rays done
just as were done before.

The x-ray it showed nothing odd
just the same as the one before
but the ECG was different
it was showing something more

The specialist he turned to me
and he began to say
“ the ‘q’ wave is abnormal
it shows it here today”

“that an MI you may have suffered
although when I cannot say”
“It could be old, it could be new
I really can not say”

I told him of the ECG
the girl had done at work
but he had not been told of this
the day  I was referred

I told him of the depression
that had shown up on that day
but it was absent on the one
I just had done today

so if you look and work it out
its fairly plain to see
the MI is a new one
within the last 6 weeks you see

“I’ll make you an appointment
for you to come and take
a stress test on the treadmill
and see what that will say”

The appointment it arrived for me
it said for me to go
and have the test at three p.m. 
on a Wednesday, don’t you know.

So here we are the date is past.
the test it has been done
the stress test on the  treadmill
it really didn’t last too long.

The trouble it was plain to see
for those who were around,
was chest pain and real short of breath
near  put me on the ground

but I must say, I  wont mislead
was it the heart that I could feel
or my ‘asthma’ kicking  in
the pains were sharp from tum to chin

it was not good I had to stop
I could not breath and the pains I  got
the test I had to ask them to
terminate, what could I do

so now I have  to wait and see
what the specialist will say to me.
What treatment will he put me through
to fix my chest and my heart too

So if the ‘asthma’ we could tame
I could be almost fit again
and I would be allowed to say
I’m going back to work today

but like I’ve said  it’s plain to me
I have to go and the doctor see
so he can tell me what to do
maybe they’ll make me good as new

Well thats the wish I’m hoping for
there is no chance of this I’m sure
for asthma and for heart disease
I  don’t think they will find a cure

So to the doctor I did go
to see just what he had to show
it now appears that I am worse
than I thought I was at first

I have to go and have more tests
and I have to take a lot more rest
but where then will I have to go
to have this test I do not know

It is  to London I must ride
a different hospital to go inside
the HAMMERSMITH hospital it could be
but I will have to wait and see

an angiograph they want to do
for the blood supply they need to view
within the arteries of the heart
before the treatment they can start

So still I will have to wait and see
if there’s a return to work for me
another month I have to wait
by then I’ll be in such a state

enforced rest does drive me mad
it really makes me feel so bad
I want to be up and away
but at this time here I must stay

So  wait I do to have the test
a month goes by with all the rest
two months have past since I was told
I am  starting to feel quite old.

Now its November and still I wait
you want  to see my  mental state
at last a letter  here arrives
to say that the test I can take

Well this can now decide my fate
but not until December late
the 19th  is the date  for me
to go and  see what they can see.

We have to give the ward a ring
to see if they  can do this thing
all is  good and so they say
it could be just a one day stay

the day arrives and off we  set
for seven  thirty the ward to get
so down the motorway we must  go
at six am  we hit the road.

Well thank goodness , the road is clear
we didn’t really have to fear
for on the road there was no delay
and  we got there for my day stay.

we entered the ward
and information they took
and  wrote it all down
but not in a book

I changed  and I waited
for the test to be done
at last the time came
and to take me they had  come

a local anaesthetic
was injected in me
to numb all the area
thats  plain to see

Then the needles they bring out
to begin with me
to insert  the catheter
and the dye so to see

they tried and they tried
it must be an art
to locate the artery
that leads to the heart

they say “it’s so deep
and difficult to locate
and to enter  the vessel”
I bet my groin’s in a state.

At last they succeed
and they enter the site
I was beginning to think
we would be here all night

the procedure they start
on a screen they can see
the way that the dye
is highlighting  me

the vessels are all blocked
except only one
which means that we are
all heading  for fun!!!!!!

the test it is over
a chat we  must  have
with a doctor who told me
surgery I must  have

“Its  plain  from the angio
that things must be done
so back into hospital
In the new year you come”

“so what are you doing
for Christmas” asks he
I tell him we’re visiting family
Ann, Natasha and me

“The surgery you need
is urgent its true
but you get together
your family and you”

“ while you are away
take it easy and be
alert for any  pain
that you may just feel”

“if chest pain is experienced
during  you holiday stay
get to the hospital, get there straight away
for if the last one  blocks up, we call it  a day”

“There  are risks to the surgery
sure that is so true
you could die on the table
or a stroke could strike you”

“ so go enjoy Christmas
and the new year too
for in the middle of January
I’ll be  waiting  for you”

we go up to Manchester
the family to see
we stay with the in laws
Ann, Natasha and me

But  things do not go
according to plan
the car starts to play up
and we call out a nice man

The AA arrive
 and the problem  he said
was  the brand new alternator
had just dropped down dead.

is this not fun to be 
stuck miles from home
when brand new  equiptment 
has a mind of its own

It is Christmas day
and we are stuck by the road
we will wait till tomorrow
and to Halfords we will go

to replace this equiptment
a new one to get
we  go to the store
a new one to get

but how will I  change it
I’m not allowed to
Ann is making  sure  that
nothing  I do

so again I phone  up,
to the AA I chat
to see if they would send
that very nice  man back

they arrange it and soon
the patrol man arrives
along  with the wind
and  the hail and the rain

the task is completed
and we’re mobile again
we return too the  house 
through the wind, hail and rain

well all goes well
for the rest of our stay
but I don’t think the doctor
meant for me to rest this way

well soon it is time
to head down the road
to drive  down the motorway 
heading for home

again we have problems 
the car will not go
five  hours we wait
for the AA to show

finally  we arrive home
nothing else can go wrong
soon I am singing
a different song

for  Ann had asked Richard
a bath for her to fill
in time for us getting  back
but the phone it did ring

so the water was running
in the bath it was plain
and  through the ceiling down the walls
the water  had drained

for over the top 
the water had run
and flooded the house out 
oh isn’t this fun

So Christmas is past
and the appointment is due
for me to go into
the theatre thats true

we wait and we wait
but nothing arrives
so I give them a ring
and to my surprise

I’m not  down to have it
in the middle of the month
it will now be late on
hope some  good will happen  just the once

the appointment is here
the letter tells what to do
to arrive on the twenty fourth
for the surgery to do

we arrive there and book in
and lots of  bits to be done
like paper work and Bp
and pulse rate are just some.

Things are explain to help Ann through
the following day the surgery is due
I’m really not worried
but Ann’s really blue.

I go down to theatre
then I am hanging around 
there has been a delay there
so now I have to wait

An hour or more I’m lying on here
waiting for the man to appear
with the injection to give me and put me to sleep
the sensations I’m feeling  from head to my feet

something does not feel good
pain in the shoulder on the right
I was going to tell them
but I’m afraid its good night

four  hour’s I am told
the surgery took
I am back in ICU
well that is some luck

with tubes down my throat
and IV’s, catheter and drains
I am waking up now
they give me some stuff for the pains.

I vaguely remember
Ann there by my side
and I think Geoff was there
with his mouth open wide

The following day
I am moved  from ICU
into high dependency
for a short stay there too

I am having some pains
they say that you do
but it feels like the chest drains
are trying to push through

it feels like I am being stabbed
if I cough or sneeze it hurts
and I am racked with pain
and fresh blood starts flowing down into the drains

at last they take notice
to what I  have said
and take out the drains
while I lie on the bed

at last I can cough
if I support my chest
a rolled up towel
appears to work best

now with the drains out
its easier to breath
and it does not hurt as much
when I cough or I sneeze

I can get up and move
from the bed to the chair
I’m feeling much better
I can breath in some air

funny sensations are coming about
when coughing or sneezing
will  the breast bone  shoot out
its  the clicking inside a real funny thing

is this clicking normal
I don’t really know
I don’t feel like asking
and my ignorance show

the pain in my shoulder
is still causing me
discomfort when ever I try
to move  my arm away from my side

its the pain I was feeling,
(only its more severe)
while I  lay on the trolley
for surgery prepared

the telephone  rings
I can hear it from here
my name it is mention
and I feel some fear

now there is a big problem
the results have come through
for the path lab have  said
MRSA is in you

I am moved up the stairs
onto ward 9 B
in a side ward to isolate
the infection in me.

a side rooms quite nice
for a short time its true
but when to have Wormwood scrubs
as your only view

its not very pleasant
to look out and see
the high  fence and floodlights
staring right back at me

things really seem
to be going just fine
the infection is isolated
in this nose of mine

the feelings I feel
are not very great
if I am not careful
I will be in a bad state

I sit here and think
of things and let out a sigh
thinking  that I should
 have  said “let me die”

the pains I am having
the mood swings are there too
maybe thats why I started
to feel really blue

The last thing you need
when the surgery is though
is finding out that MRSA
is  found in you

you feel like a leper
it really is true
when people have to dress up
when visiting  you

you  stay in the room
no one do you see
no one will come in
unless it is necessary

a nurse  she arrives
the bits wants to see
and takes out the pace wires
that stick out of me

at last the day comes
when the nurse sets me free
and  comes to remove
the central  line from me

she takes out the suture
I take a deep breath
she pulls out the catheter
that was in my neck

a few little things
are not quite right with me
the pulse and the Bp
are raised up you see

now again we are moving
this time you should see
its the private suite
thats reserved  for me

but still I am isolated
in the room I must stay
with TV and music
to help  pass the days

It is pleasant surroundings
I have to admit
I wish I could walk around
and try to get fit

then early one morning 
with a nurse I did talk
and she then suggested
we go for a walk

all the other patients
were asleep in their beds
so we walked down the corridor
it was clearing my head

but even to this time
now I have to say
this was really only
my  forth long, lonely day

Five days since the op
is that all that it is
it seems much longer
than it really is

I am hoping today
the doctor says its all right
for me to sleep
in my own bed tonight

but again damn the pulse rate
its still too high you see
I have to remain
in this room with just me

I really am feeling
so low and so blue
I really don’t know what I am to do
until I decide this is not good for you

“just pick yourself up”
I start telling myself
“ get walking and moving
motivating  yourself”

“get back to the way you usually are
for tomorrow you may
get into the car
then home we’ll be going it’s not really far

familiar surroundings
will help me get well
back to civilisation
and out of this hell

the next day they come 
on the round there’s a few
I made sure this morning 
that nothing did do

no wash or a shave did I have
the pulse it is better 
not quite as bad, today was the day
that I really was glad

for when they could get them 
my potions and pills
then home I was bound
to heal all of my ills

the freedom  to go
where ever I want
out into the garden
or out on the front

Two weeks have gone bye
I’ve been home and its good
but the leg scar is sore
and as red as my blood

so I go to the doctor
and tablets  gives me
to reduce the infection
thats attacking me

the wound starts to break down
so what can we do
we will apply dressings
and change them for you

The district nurse visits
the doctor sent her around
to take a swab and send it off
to see what can be found

I don’t need to wait and see
what the swab will find on me
it seems like I know right away
the swab will show MRSA

Sure enough the results come
its there plain to see
MRSA positive is what is in me
so dressings with inadine is best so it seems

more antibiotics he gives
and these I must take
to rid myself of it
of face upto my fate

so we work on the dressings
for two weeks or three
there are healing up well
soon normal will be.

at last the time comes when
dressings no more
need to be applied along
my suture line sore

So now I am able
to take up my place
on the rehab course
at the HANDY CROSS place

So away I do go on a Thursday p.m.
to get back to normal
and exercise with new friends
to assist with the operation to mend

on arrival we sign in
with the coronary nurse
the Bp is taken
along with the pulse

there is a problem
I am unable to pursue
the heart exercises I really should do
there is a protocol follow we must

If the heart rate is racing
then we really must rest
I am unable to take part
its all for  the best

the rules they do state
and it is for the best
that the heart rate is down
to 100 or less

So what’s to be done
we really don’t know
I guess to the doctors surgery go
and  mention to him the problem we have

see if to me different medication he will give
to help me to get  my life  back to live
alas he says no cause he cannot see
how changing the med.’s could benefit me

Tachycardia is usual
after this op that I had
and soon it would slow
so that wont be so bad

But the problem persists
until then one day
we send down a record
of my rapid pace

via a phone call the trace it is sent
to the ECG department to see what they think
they say I am in  sinus tachy
and apart from  the pace it all seems OK

So passed on to the consultants team
its done straight away
to get them  to go
and look at the trace

to ring us right back
and  to  let us know
If I should be started
on something they know

to work on the heart
to make it go slow
It is finally  decided
 to try then on me

a beta-blocker tablet
so that we can see
if this will affect me
and get me to wheeze.

It is thought that I may
suffer  from asthma you see
and this medication
could cause me to wheeze

so then I must go to  the GP again
and take him a letter
that is hoped will explain
what the registrar in the hospital said

The tablets we will try
 and  hope it will do
the task that we are wanting
the tablet to do

No problem we have
and the tablets we get
start on a low dose
and see what comes next

if no wheezing we get
the increase it by one
the dosage to take then
will be  5 MG

so the instructions we follow
as we are told to
and the dosage is increased
from one pill to two

taking the tablets
seems to have done the trick
the heart rate  has slowed
from 120 to 96

So now I can exercise
and improve my health
then it will make me feel better
inside of myself

it seems like a long time
since the op had been done
and most of  the time
it hasn’t been fun

there had been times
when infections and pain
had me wishing I had died
and was driving me insane

I still have the aches
and the pain though they are few
but they should start easing
in the next month or two

so I chat with the doctor
and make it quite plain
that returning to work
is the name of the game

So we  then agree
that before work I can go
there is something I need to do for myself
and that is to contact occupational health

So the job it is done
an appointment is made
a basis for returning to work
is agreed

It will not be full time
for thats plain to see
returning there  full time
could be real hard on me

So we will start slowly
say three days a week
then we will increase it
but we’ll wait and see

Its been a long time
since I went off sick
so I’m probably in for
a right load of stick

Some people may think
it did it this way
to get out of working
millennium  day

but to be honest with you
I hadn’t thought of that ploy
to get out of working it
and the break to enjoy…

There are a lot of people who helped over this period of time, nine  months in all, from providing care and treatment from the staff in the  Hammersmith both in the NHS and the private suite to Wycombe cardiac out patients, GP and district nurses and  cardiac nurses too.
There are also the cardiac  rehab course staff who  put us through it on Thursdays after lunch at  Handy Cross sports centre.
Then there are the staff I work with too sister  Gill and all the ward staff along with  Miriam.
There have been changes in staff so I hope I will know the staff that are left.
 Most of all the one who  has had the most to put up with  from day one and who  has supplied the most during this time and for who it is ongoing, she is the most important part of the team  ANN my wife.